Odds and ends

1. What did I say about Fabregas winning the midfield battle? I win at prediction. Maybe -- stranger things have happened on return legs than overturning a 2-0 deficit. Arsenal are looking more and more like this year's Liverpool, though. Sketchy domestic form, needing to perform in the Champions League to keep their best player around, in a "rebuilding year." The parallels are right there, and I'm sure everyone will be sick of them by mid-April. But for now, fun!

2. If only I had a spare $800 . . .

3. Everyone hates Chelsea, part 432. I don't know if I've seen public opinion turn against a team so quickly -- this time last year, everyone adored Mourinho. It's hard to talk smack about Chelsea without sounding bitter if you're a Liverpool fan, but it's getting easier and easier. All the money in the world can't buy class, or even interesting gameplay. (What's with all the handballs these days? It seems like there's one every game.)

4. I've heard some people recently arguing that Kevin Nolan should get an England callup. Now, I have nothing against Nolan. I can't; he's a good Scouser. However, he plays for Bolton. That alone means Sven won't call him up. Even if that weren't the case, England don't need another central midfielder. They're having enough problems these days figuring out how to get Gerrard and Lampard to work together. There's no way they need to add another guy into that mix. Especially not one that even his supporters admit isn't on the same level as the midfield pair we have now. If you want to take a backup midfielder, it should clearly be Scott Parker instead. He's the best thing about Newcastle these days, and he can actually, you know. Score goals.

5. I just got my tickets for US/Jamaica. I'm really excited about going to that, even if my newly-discovered Associative Property of Soccer means that the US is going to get killed by Italy this summer. It's really easy: Germany beat the US 4-1. Italy beat Germany 4-1. Therefore, Italy will beat the USA by a score of 8-2. Simple, elegant, and endlessly amusing.

Wheaties, a short play, and handicapping the CL.

That's the only solution for what's going on with Liverpool these days. From barely scoring since the New Year, they've now won their last three games by a combined score of 15-2. I guess Wheaties aren't the only solution; Rafa might be threatening the strikers with sale to Spurs if they don't score more often. (As far as that sale, I fully support it. This drought they just got out of would never have happened if we had a reliable goalscorer in the first place. I would also support a sale of Morientes, but 1) they couldn't get as much for him, 2) it's better to dump a Houllier signing, 3) Rafa likes the Spaniards.) Anyway, even though it's not against the most quality opposition -- 3-1 to Newcastle, 7-0 to Birmingham -- I'll definitely take it. I just hope it holds out for a month or so, since we have, inevitably, been drawn against Chelsea in the FA cup semis. I've really gotten tired of the Chelsea/Liverpool games; I mean, I know they have to happen twice a season, but this will be the fifth time, when you add in the Champions League games. I could probably write out the buildup at this point.

JOSE: *insults Rafa, mentions "goal that never was," which is now eleven months old*
RAFA: *refuses to engage Jose, retreats to charmingly-accented platitudes*
JOSE: I'm not touching you! I'm not touching you!
GAME: *is boring*
DRAMA: *ensues*

And really? I'm over it.

Okay, I promised Champions League commentary, and since the games start Tuesday (yay!), now's as good a time as any. I don't know how much stock y'all should take in my predictions, since I finished a sparkling 5-for-8 in the Round of 16. But that's never stopped me before -- exhibit A, my March Madness bracket -- so I don't know why it'd stop me now. Um. Anyway, here we go!

Benfica/Barcelona -- This draw makes me kinda happy that Liverpool completely sucked against Benfica, because we would've gotten slaughtered by Barcelona. Benfica's shown a bit of giant-killer spirit this year, but I don't think that it'll hold out against the runaway leaders of La Liga. I mean, I love Liverpool, but they're not really on the same level. I'm pretty sure Barca have been the favorites to win since August, so I'm gonna go with the tide and call this for Barcelona.

Arsenal/Juventus -- Oh, geez. This all comes down to whether Arsenal are this year's Liverpool or not. If they are, then they win this and go on to defeat the favorites in the most dramatic manner possible. If they're not, then Juve wins, and I cry a little bit. Arsenal have really been on a roll since beating Real last round, so they could probably pull off the upset here. However, Juve are even better than they were at this stage last season, and who knows what weird psychological effect Vieira's return will have. (On a purely personal level, I'd like to see Cesc Fabregas win that battle, just because I love the wee Spanish Muppet.) My rational side says Juve have this, but my heart's with Arsenal, and I think the momentum's for them right now, so what the hell. Arsenal.

Internazionale/Villarreal -- Ew, ew, ew. As the most casual Milan fan ever, I don't like Inter. However, I can't help but feeling like they've got more of a right to be in the quarters than Villarreal. (I don't really know what that means, but the league tables bear me out. Inter's contending for second, but Villareal are seventh.) I don't see Villarreal being strong enough to hold out over both legs. I don't like it, but I'm going with Inter.

Milan/Lyon -- See, this is the bad side of Inter/Villarreal, since a team I like gets knocked out in this tie. Lyon's still kicking ass all over the French league, and while I admit that's not the most difficult task, it's still pretty impressive. Milan are still contending for second place in Serie A, but they haven't been convincing for a while now. This is exactly what I said about them before they beat up on Bayern in the last round, though, so they seem to take joy in proving me wrong. Lyon beat PSV by a pretty lopsided score, too, however. And like I said all along, Lyon's gonna win it all. So I'm predicting Lyon.

Finally, in schadenfreude of the week: Bruce Arena admits playing Germany was a mistake. Too bad you couldn't have called that before they slaughtered you 4-1. Fifth in the world?

5-1!

Oh, that's where my team went. They were just . . . hiding? Napping? I don't know, but I'm glad they've decided to come back. I'd like to see this momentum stick around till the end of the season, too; I mean, not every game can be 5-1, but most of the toughest games are done -- they've played Arsenal, Chelsea, and Man U already, so I think the biggest test remaining is probably Bolton (and in terms of grudge matches, Everton). Now it really just comes down to waiting for Man U to slip up so we can maybe snatch second. I'm glad to see Fowler finally get his first goal; he's been unlucky with a couple of those offside calls. Pressure's on for Cisse, now, though, since he's the only striker who didn't score on Wednesday. I mean, I think he's gone in May anyway, but he's still floating around the periphery of the French national side. And in purely selfish terms, I want him to score a lot, so he'll get more money when they sell him to bring in Michael Owen. Not enough that we have to keep him around, but you know. Enough that we can get back some of the 14 million Houllier paid for him. (14 million? And we couldn't buy Owen last summer why?)

In other good Liverpool news, Rafa Benitez is sticking around. I was vaguely worried that he'd be leaving in the summer, since they're out of the CL. But, as my con law prof said, "smart rats leave the ship," they don't hop on while it's sinking. Rafa's a smart rat, and Real's still pretty much a sinking ship. I'm kind of realizing that he'll probably go there eventually, but I'm glad it won't be for awhile. The turnaround that's already happened at Liverpool since his arrival is amazing, and I really want them to be serious title contenders next season. We'll have to buy well, be lucky, and put a voodoo curse on John Terry to do it, but it's a lot more likely with Rafa staying then if he left.

And it's about damn time, FIFA. Maybe now clubs will start policing their fans a bit more -- you'd think they would've wanted to long before this, since being notorious racists isn't really the best PR. (Exhibit A: Lazio.) I don't know how willing the national FAs are going to be to effect this, since they're the ones refusing to impose bigger fines as is. At least it's a step, though, and a pretty big one. I guess once Rio Ferdinand calls you out, you've reached rock bottom. I mean, who wants to get faced by a guy who shows up to training on his day off and "forgets" drug tests? Certainly not Sepp Blatter. And for once, good for him. (Yes, I know FIFA and UEFA are completely different. However, the problem is the same, and FIFA's action pre-empts UEFA.)

Finally, hi to Du Nord! Thanks for the link! His Michael Ballack Watch feature is hilarious. Everyone should go read.

I suppose I should pay some attention to the Champions League, huh? Well, Ajax duly made me look foolish, like I thought they would. Which leaves some pretty interesting ties in the quarterfinals, that I'm not going to talk about here. This post is long enough already. (That's called a cliffhanger.)

Worst week ever.

If anyone was wondering, I did survive Liverpool's crashing out of the Champions League. I wasn't happy about it, but I made it through. And actually, I'm doing pretty well on my predictions: five-for-seven so far. I was just wrong about Liverpool and Milan. (And honestly, I'll probably be wrong about Inter. I've accepted that.) I'm throwing my support to Lyon (dark horses) and Arsenal (last English team).

As far as the Arsenal game, they deserved the win. I wish it hadn't come from another of Steven's mishit backpasses, but they played better than Liverpool. Xabi didn't deserve that red, though; everyone was falling over on the pitch, and he just had bad luck in colliding with Flamini in the process. Also, shut up, Senderos. Okay, that's Liverpool's Week in Review. Knocked out of the CL, lose to Arsenal. Next week, someone runs over the mascot.

So, onto positive notes. First, everyone hates Jose Mourinho now. Second, Liverpool lasted in the Champions League longer than 1) Everton, 2) Manchester United, and 3) Chelsea. Third, we are still in the FA Cup. It's not quite as shiny as the Champions League, but you know. Still shinier than the Carling Cup. Dude, after this last week? I have to find positives wherever I can.

Denial/link/first game ever!

Again, I am not talking about Liverpool/Charlton. Mostly because I haven't seen the game, but also because as Deadspin put it, "the Reds couldn’t score with a homeless hooker if they had a pocketful of cash." It's true, and it upsets me, since we have to get two on Wednesday if we want to avoid going out ignominiously in the Champions League round of 16. (That will be known after Tuesday as "pulling a Chelsea." Just to keep y'all up on the new slang.) So I'm just not thinking about it, because my basketball team lost, and this has been a bad enough sports weekend for me.

In other news, say hello to Goalscoring Robot, a new blog and a friend of mine. She's an Arsenal fan, but I like her anyway. And she's slowly realizing how much Chelsea suck, which is a lot of fun to watch.

Finally, I am going to my first real match! I'm going to watch the USMNT beat up on poor little Jamaica. I'm going to try really really hard to not openly mock them while I'm there -- I feel this will be easier to do without Dave O'Brien babbling over the action about the keeper's "shutouts" and telling me about Dempsey's burgeoning rap career. Because, really. Shut up.

I love international breaks.

A great international day for me, since all three of my teams pulled out wins. The Spain and England ones weren't as solid as I'd like, but hey. Meaningless friendlies, a good break from the Premiership, and the World Cup exactly 100 days away.

England 2 - Uruguay 1. I hereby take back everything I've said about Joe Cole. (His website, though, does give me pause.) And there's Peter Crouch's first international goal! I was skeptical about him early on, but he's come back to form recently. I think he's definitely earned a spot at the World Cup. (Discussion question of the night: what does Sven have against Jamie Carragher?) I only listened to this game, and didn't see it live, but it sounded like a pretty good game overall, though I'm a bit concerned that playing at Anfield made England similarly unable to convert easy chances. I was impressed by Carrick, though not as much by Bent.

Best moment of the game: compare the numbers on Crouch's shirt here and here. And these are the people we're trusting to find the new England manager?

Spain 3 - Ivory Coast 2. OK, Spain is my secondary team, and I'm happy they won, but this is really an excuse to talk about how much I love Xabi Alonso. The Liverpool-City game, he had a copiously bleeding head wound, got 10 stitches for it, and then tried to come back on. The ref was all, "Dude, you're still bleeding, no." He got back in for about five or ten minutes, but had blurry vision, and did I mention TEN STITCHES? It was awesome. And then he and Garcia give this interview today, and I love them both even more.

USA 1 - Poland 0. I won't lie, I kinda wanted this one to go the other way. My brief love affair with the USMNT may be over. Those PANTS on McBride. Jesus. I do have to respect both those teams for playing through a snowstorm. By the time that game ended, the field was completely white. It was beautiful, but must've sucked for them. However, I had to watch the second half on mute, because the commentators are godawful. Three notes:

1. Every time you say "well-defensed," an English major cries. That English major is me.
2. Keepers are not "in the nets." Nor do they have "shutouts." They keep clean sheets, and they are between the posts. I know you just came over from some other sport, but honestly.
3. Find a better way of saying there haven't been any goals yet than "nothing-nothing." I understand nil-nil sounds silly when you're an American, but still. I could accept zero-zero.

Oh, America.

Well, Firefox just decided I didn't really want to talk about Liverpool-City or the Carling Cup final after all. So, instead I'll just go on with my real point, which is this.

I may be coming around on the US Men's National Team, all due to this ad. I don't know -- I have a bad reaction to relentless "you must support this team!" boosterism, which is what's really put me off the USMNT in the past. That, and the lack of a catchy nickname. I mean, how do you even pronounce USMNT? It's no "Indomitable Lions," that's for sure. Hell, it's not even "Azurri" or "Three Lions." Anyway. That ad somehow struck the right tone, and I may end up penciling them in as my third-favorite team this summer. (That's all I'm willing to grant right now -- England's still my team, and Spain's basically Liverpool, so I have to support them.)

Though, one thing. The ad says something like, "let England mock." Well, one, that's what the British press does. Y'all think you've got it rough, try being Argentina or Germany. Two, they specifically mock you because their B-team kicked your ass on your home field. So, you know. That kind of deserves some mockery. I mean, gloat about your FIFA ranking all you want, but head-to-head? You lose.

Premiership notes, February 25

What the hell, Sven? You do realize that the only reason Rio's playing there for Man U is that they have no midfield to speak of, don't you? Steven Gerrard's played as a striker before, too -- clearly, let's start him up front! Gah. Just because a player can play well out of his preferred position doesn't prove anything. Ferdinand's clearly a defender, and I don't think the solution to our midfield issues is adding in another player to the mix. Especially when England can USE HIM IN HIS REAL POSITION. I mean, with Sol Campbell's continuing issues, who else are you going to partner John Terry with?

Well, OK, Jamie Carragher's the clear choice. But pretend you're Sven, and inexplicably hate Carra. Judging by this decision, you'd put Peter Crouch into the defense. It's not like we have a glut of good defenders and need to shoehorn Ferdinand into the squad. He has a position he prefers and is better in. I don't know why playing him in midfield is even on the table as an option. Just because Sir Alex does something doesn't make it a good idea -- would you have bought Eric Djemba-Djemba?

For the record, my preferred midfield is Joe Cole, Frank Lampard, Ledley King, and Steven Gerrard out on the right flank. He's been playing there a lot for Liverpool, and that's almost become his preferred position. Since you can't drop Beckham without causing a national crisis, though, I'd settle for Cole, Lampard, Gerrard, and Beckham. You would just have to lock Lampard and Gerrard in a room together until they figured out how to allocate the attacking and holding roles. (And install a video camera in the room. I'd pay for that footage.)

Speaking of what the hell -- Arsenal. I'm actually pulling for them in the Champions League, so it's strange to see them return so quickly to their awful away form in the league. (Won just three? Really, boys?) This does give credence to the "Arsenal are the new Liverpool" theory, though. Arsenal will, however, have to do it without my assistance -- in the form of lucky socks and undaunted pessimism -- that got Liverpool through the Champions League campaign. Sorry.

The Chaaaaaaaaaampions, Part Two

OK, first of all, I thought we'd show up for the Champions League. Instead, we rest Gerrard over a "dead leg," even though he was training yesterday. And then we play Morientes. The hell. The Arsenal game was on a big-screen TV at the law school -- there was a little cadre of us gathered in front of it watching the game. I had just said I was a Liverpool fan, and then that little ticker ran across with "Liverpool 0 - Benfica 1." I may or may not have sworn out loud. At least it's just one goal, and not away. I'm coping.

Anyway. Back to handicapping the Round of Sixteen.

Chelsea/Barcelona -- See, I'm really not sure about this one. Chelsea have the knack of playing like shit and still winning games, while Barca are infinitely more entertaining, but have been in the middle of a little hiccup recently. The buildup to this one's been as dramatic as ever, this time centering around the condition of Chelsea's pitch. I don't know if that'll have affected the mood going into the game. (If people were smart, they'd just ignore every word that comes out of Jose Mourinho's mouth, but that doesn't seem to be a popular option for some reason.) I don't really know how to call this one, so I'll go with my instinct. Thus, Chelsea play very badly and draw at home, but can't hold on away. Therefore Barcelona win it. (In an ideal world, it'd be 5-0 losses both legs, but we can't get what we want.)

Rangers/Villareal -- Ladies and gentlemen, say hello to the luckiest teams in the tournament. Villarreal are only here because of Man U's total implosion in the group stage, and Rangers benefited from a fairly easy qualifying group on the way in. I don't really care about these; either way, a team that really shouldn't be here gets a free pass to the quarters. I think I'm going with Villarreal here, though I really have no basis for that judgment other than that their nickname is "The Yellow Submarine" and that amuses me.

Werder Bremen/Juventus -- This should really be a walk for Juve. They've got Serie A all but sewn up, and they were one of the first teams to qualify for the knockout rounds. Bremen have little, if any, experience in Europe, and that may start to tell here. I don't really care for Juve, but I don't really see them not winning this one, and handily. So, as you may have guess, I think Juventus are going to win this.

Ajax/Internazionale -- Right. This is one I'm not interested in at all, really. I've never been able to care much about Inter, and Ajax have a great history in this competition, but haven't lived up to that heritage recently. (As a Liverpool fan, I have carte blanche to point out when other teams are underachievers.) I feel strongly that every good cup competition needs one upset, and since Bayern winning that tie wouldn't be an upset, I'm randomly deciding that this is the upset. So, that means Ajax win. (You may also refer to this as the prediction most likely to make me look like an idiot.)

Finally, a really interesting article on homophobia, sports, and what really happens in the dressing rooms. I'm not sure that I agree with him, but he definitely raises some interesting issues.

The Chaaaaaaaaaaaampions! (Part One)

Oh, y'all, I am so excited. The Champions League starts up again tomorrow! This is my favorite competition in the entire season. (I mean, the World Cup's awesome, but that's only once every four years. The Champions League is every year!) And, yes, before you say it, I liked it best even before Liverpool won it all last season. That just added to my love. So tomorrow kicks off the round of 16 -- there should be a less awkward name for that -- and because I want to make myself look like a fool, I'm going to predict the winners of these ties.

Bayern Munich/AC Milan -- Yeah, this is one of the ones I don't know much about. I've never followed the Bundesliga, and I only vaguely keep up with Serie A. Milan had a struggle in qualifying for the knockout round, and they've not been setting the world afire in their domestic league; yeah, they beat Juve, but they aren't consistent enough to challenge for the title seriously. At least they're ahead of Inter now. Still, though, I'm going with Munich, since their domestic form is better, and I think they're due.

Benfica/Liverpool -- OK, we lucked out with this one. Liverpool's really come a long way from where they were this time last season, without a lot of injury trouble and some good off-season buys. (Robbie Fowler -- what else do you need?) Benfica, on the other hand, are struggling in the league this season. However, as we learned last year, domestic form is no indicator of European form -- also, Liverpool are still in the FA Cup. We've already played more matches than a lot of teams will all season, what with the colossal waste that was the World Club Championship. Tiredness may be a factor, but I think we'll show up for the Champions League, since you know. Defending champions and all. Additionally, Benfica finished second in the weakest qualifying group. I'm saying Liverpool to take this one, but we'll be tested in the next round.

Real Madrid/Arsenal -- You could call this tie the Twilight of the Invincibles, really. Both of these teams have really been struggling this season; as it stands now, Arsenal would have to win it all to be back in the Champions League next year. Real were in a similar situation earlier on. Finishing second in the group didn't help their confidence, and neither did losing their manager. However, since then, they seem to be turning things around. Arsenal, on the other hand? They're coming off a loss to Liverpool, and still haven't figured out a good way to cope with losing Vieira. Despite that, I think they might be the dark horse this time. They have everything to play for, and nothing to lose -- it's all but certain that they have to stay in the Champions League in order to keep Henry around next year. They may lose the first game, but hopefully they'll get some people back from injury in time to pull this one out. (Also, I hate Real, ever since they totally screwed over Michael Owen.) For all these reasons, I'm saying Arsenal, on away goals.

PSV Eindhoven/Olympique Lyonnais -- Remember how I said I didn't know much about Milan/Munich? I know even less about this one. Except both these teams are consistently in the latter stages of this competition; they met in the quarterfinals last season, when PSV needed away goals to advance. After that, Milan needed away goals to beat them in the semis. Lyon's running rampant over Ligue 1, and even Gerard Houllier hasn't been able to halt their momentum. Similarly, PSV's five points clear of Feyenoord in their domestic league. So you could really call this one the battle of the secondary league-leaders. (I didn't say it was catchy.) I don't really prefer one team over the other, but Lyon's been my dark-horse pick to win it all since the first game, so I'm saying Lyon.

The other ties I'll predict tomorrow, since this entry's long enough already. Man, I'm so happy this competition's back. If only I could watch it live -- stupid job interview/Property class.

Glory, glory, Man . . . who?

THAT is what I'm talking about, boys.

I mean, I'd prefer another goal or two, but right now I am not picky. We're in the quarterfinals! And it's . . . well, not sad, because better Liverpool than Man U. But I don't have anything really against Man U. (except Gary Neville. What a douche.) This has just not been a good season for them -- incredibly early exit from the Champions League, some shocking Premiership performances, and now this? I mean, considering they don't really have a midfield and they're still likely to finish in the top three, it's not too awful. Their golden generation's just aged up now, and a lot of the younger players haven't fully stepped up. I think it'll come with time, and maybe a new manager.

Even so, these things remain true:

1. I would trade any of our strikers for one like Ruud van Nistelrooy. Not him, because I think he's a diver, but I'd kill to have that kind of consistency up front.

2. I'm still cheering for Wigan in the Carling Cup final. I don't think they'll get it, because Man U will really want something shiny to show for this season. Wigan, by contrast, are kinda in that "just happy to be here" mood. (But then, I thought Liverpool were out of it when Xabi got injured, so what do I know?) I'll predict Man U to win it, but I'd kinda be happy to be proved wrong.

My answer? Steven Gerrard or John Terry.

OK, I may have discovered the secret to Liverpool winning. I slept through the Wigan match (forgot to check, and it was the early one), and I was stuck in a makeup Property class, with no laptop allowed, during the Arsenal match. Since they won both of those, I have to conclude that I can no longer follow the GameCast if I want my team to win. (In the alternative, we could get our strikers firing again, and I could follow my boys live. But for now, we'll go with not following the game as the key. This has the benefit of not making me get up for a 7:30 game on Saturday.)

Speaking of that game, I'm not going to jinx us. Man U's form has been a lot better than ours has recently, and they also have the advantage of being out of the Champions League and not having to play in the World Club Championship or make up those games in hand. (Also, Footie Girl would like to point out that Man U's strikers can actually score.) However, we'll really want to win this, since it's the only chance of domestic silverware we've got. Also, we're bitter about the last-second undeserved loss in the Premiership. Or maybe that's just me who's bitter. Damn Rio.

Speaking of bitter? I present Pepe Reina. And I really can't blame him -- it's only natural to want your former team to do well, especially playing a hated team like Chelsea. (I hesitate to call them our rivals, because historically? As if.) Reina has more reason for bitterness than the rest of Liverpool, since Robben's ridiculous dive cost him three games. I can't go as far as hoping that Liverpool draw Barcelona in the next round, though -- either Reina knows something I don't about Barca's dip in form recently, or he thinks we actually have strikers. Either way, my draw preference is definitely the winner of Rangers/Villarreal. Luckiest teams in the world.

Discussion question: which Premiership footballer would you most like to switch bodies with for a day, and why?

International notes.

I'm ignoring Liverpool after that defeat to Charlton. Losing to Man U and Chelsea, I can understand. Losing to Charlton comes under the category of moral failing, and as such, I am mad at the entire team. Especially our alleged strikers.

I should really stop laughing every time these ads for the World Cup say "the US national team is a strong contender." Yeah, a strong contender to go three-and-out, maybe.

I've been watching History of Soccer over the past couple of months (what can I say? I'm a slow Netflixer.) Tonight, I watched disc 3, which was about the South American game. Now, Brazil is my longest-running soccer hatred, so I refuse to warm up to them in the slighest. They're practically guaranteed to win in Germany, which would really go against my preferential option for underachievers (Spain, England, Liverpool). And, ok. I fully admit Kaka is insanely talented and pretty, and Ronaldinho's just ridiculous. But as a whole? I hate Brazil, and will cheer for anyone who's playing against them.

Oddly, though, the documentary made me like Argentina, which is a weird feeling for an England fan. I think maybe I've been conflating Argentina with Maradona too much -- I loathe Maradona. Always have. I don't care what sort of gloss you try to put on it: he cheated, and he lied about it for nearly 20 years. Also, there's the whole thing where he failed a drug test and was ejected from the 1994 World Cup. Hate him, always will, can't argue me out of it. Argentina, though, sort of grew on me over the course of the DVD. I mean, they've got a good history, and they're not Brazil, which is a point in their favor. So, World Cup resolution: try to warm up to Argentina. I can't like only European teams. All bets are off if they meet England in the knockout stages, though.

(And now I have US/Japan on in the background, and damn. Japan defends corners even worse than Liverpool -- maybe try marking players? OK, now they scored. Go Japan!)

Yes, I am the boss of Liverpool.

Well, the run of good form couldn't last forever, I guess. 1-1 against Birmingham, who scored through a Xabi Alonso own-goal. Today, we followed that up with 2-0 at Chelsea, and Reina getting sent off. I don't know why we're looking so unconvincing all of a sudden, but these two games have really pointed out major areas we need to work on. In order:

1. ATTACK. You could see this as early as the World Club Championship against Sao Paulo, where we had all the chances and a ton of corners, and just couldn't convert any of them. We've consistently had more shots and more shots on target, even against Chelsea, but none of that matters unless you can finish them off. We don't have a consistent scorer: Cisse has pace, but has been a dreadful finisher recently; Crouch is in one of his dry spells again; Morientes still doesn't look comfortable in the Premiership; and Fowler's not as close to match-fit as we'd like and has lost whatever pace he once possessed. This has been a problem for us all season, and even back last year. At this point, I would trade any two of our strikers for one consistent goalscorer. (This is why I wanted us to buy Michael Owen back in August, but alas.) When your leading scorer is a midfielder, you've clearly got problems. This leads nicely into my next point, which is:

2. Steven Gerrard cannot do everything. God love him, he'll try to do everything, but it's just not possible. You can't say anything against his heart or commitment to the club, which is great to see after the will-he-won't-he drama of last season, and midfield is clearly the club's strongest area right now, but still. We need a bit more depth and versatility -- when Steven's not playing, we just look off-balance. Garcia's got some of the attacking flair, but his defense is not there, while Sissoko and Alonso aren't as strong going forward. Kewell's edging back to his old form but not there yet, either. I just fear so much what would happen to our season were Gerrard to pick up a long-term injury. He's almost to twenty goals for the season, and the heart of the team in a lot of ways. It's easy to depend on him, since he's been so incredible this season, but you just have to look at Arsenal this season to see what happens to one-man teams when that man isn't playing.

3. Defense of set pieces. This was shown most clearly in the Chelsea game today -- they are KNOWN for their skill at corners, especially John Terry. So what do we do? Leave him open to give Gallas the assist and their first goal. Great idea! I would say our crap defending of these recently has been because we're trying to train new defenders, but neither of them played today. I've never been completely sold on zonal marking anyway, and if the team still doesn't have it down at this point, maybe it's time to try something new. Set pieces should be the easiest things to defend from, since teams tend to do the same things over and over again. We've got to stop giving up these cheap goals, since our defense is generally strong otherwise.

Also, I feel I should say something about Reina today. I love him, and I disapprove of unnecessary violence on the pitch. I also disapprove of getting red cards that can rule you out of crucial games (hi, Arsenal!). However, I think you could make a case that Robben needs his ass kicked a little bit. Smug bastard. I mean, today I hate everyone who has ever played for Chelsea or cheered for them in any way, but him in particular. (Also, he's a total whiner, a diver, and a drama queen. Rafa said it better than I could.)

Um, yay Steelers? If you graphed levels of interest in the Super Bowl from one to ten, I would be at about a negative six.

Vindicated!

For the record? Michael Owen agrees with me that Group C is the 2006 Group of Death. (That's Argentina, Holland, Serbia and Montenegro, and the Ivory Coast.)

Why does this matter? Shut up, American press. That's why. I'd take playing Italy over playing Argentina any day of the week. Doesn't mean I think the US have a chance in hell of getting out of their group, though. They play in the easiest international conference and occasionally thrash European Under-16 sides. They still aren't as good as they think they are.