Dashed expectations news

So, a combination of Wednesday afternoon classes and being too poor to afford FSC means that the only game I've managed to watch live this week? Chicago Fire - New England Revolution. And I don't even like either of those teams, and the ESPN2 broadcasts aren't the same without Eric Wynalda doing his drunk-uncle routine, but you know, sometimes you go with what's there. It did make me realize that since I don't like Chad Barrett, Justin Mapp, or Can't-Spell-It Blanco, I should probably go all the way and just admit that I don't like the Fire. (This is also how I came to discover I didn't like Inter -- I tried, but I realized I couldn't stand most of the players, so I had to call it.)

I have managed to see highlights of the Champions League games, though, and I think Liverpool are going to be the ones advancing to the semis. If we've learned anything since 2005, it's that Rafa has turned Liverpool into a team that's excellent at getting a 1-0 at home and clinging on for dear life. Since they could advance with a 0-0 at Anfield, I don't expect that game next week to be one for the ages, but honestly, after the rest of the season, I don't care so much about aesthetics as results. (This is why I'm not an Arsenal fan.) It's pretty sad, but if they can finish fourth and get to at least the semis in the Champions League, I think I'll be satisfied with that. And no, I'm not looking forward to another freaking Chelsea-Liverpool semi, but maybe Fenerbahce will take care of that for me.

In other news, I scored three at my rec team's practice the other day. I guess you could say, like John Terry or Ashley Cole, I score a lot for a defender. Except that I don't do it with underage girls. Or throw up after.

Welcome to the off-season

I guess this is what you do when you don't have a cup final to prepare for. Fine by me, though I do have serious issues with the choice of belt.

Also, who thinks Miss Simpson knew that Arsenal even existed before this very moment? Anyone? She's from Texas, and I know for a fact they don't have that kind of football down in Plano.

CL Semis, Leg One

For once, I got to watch both of these live. And also for once, they were both decent games. In really different ways, obviously, but both worth taking a few hours away from studying to watch.

Man U 3 - Milan 2. By now, shouldn't Milan have figured out that they can't really take their foot off the gas in Europe? I hate to be the fan that's always bringing up the 2005 final, but here I am. Milan were really hurt by Gattuso's having to come off early in the second half due to injury -- and speaking of that, I think the Man U fans were booing because they thought he was faking it. If they know anything about Gattuso, they should have known that he's probably #1 on the list of Italians least likely to dive or fake it. But I guess not. Stay classy, kids. I also think taking Maldini off at the half was a bad decision; I know you have to be wary of his health, since he's, what, 400 now? But Milan looked so much weaker at the back when he left, so unless he was just unable to continue, I would have kept him in longer. Even though they lost this leg, I think Milan have the advantage going into the return this Wednesday. They just need a 1-0 to advance (or failing that, they just can't allow more than two goals). I know they've struggled some at home this season, but you'd think that their fans would come out for this one.

Chelsea 1 - Liverpool 0. This was also a decent game, though incredibly frustrating. All I really wanted from this was an away goal as a little bit of insurance going into the second leg, but no such luck. Cech's getting back to his pre-injury form incredibly fast, and Joe Cole picked just about the most annoying time to come back into the side. Liverpool couldn't really get anything together, maybe because of Rafa's confusing team selection -- I've started screeching unattractively every time Zenden's named as a starter, and I have yet to be proven wrong. Honestly, I don't have a good feeling about the return leg here; as much as I'd like to think the Anfield crowd will make a big difference, I think we've had too many games like this for Chelsea to be surprised or intimidated by the atmosphere anymore. (Seriously, playing each other 14 times in three seasons? It's ridiculous.) They may surprise me, and I hope they do, but right now, I'm not seeing it. Maybe playing the B-team (and Xabi) at the weekend will help, but I don't know. I'm having a hard time seeing this as anything but Chelsea making it through.

Speaking of that weekend game, it's time for Dudek to go. You can either complain about not getting starts anymore, or you can play like that when you do start. You can't do both. I realize it sucks to be effectively dropped after winning the Champions League, but that's the game.

In completely unrelated news, Arsenal Ladies are on course for a quadruple. While this sort of thing irritates me on the men's side, I'm just glad the women are having this kind of success, because they're adorable. If that makes me a hypocrite, so be it.

Hi to Being Sven! I always enjoy good Liverpool bloggers, especially ones who can cut it in the demanding Deadspin commentariat.

Champions League round of 16

Oh, Champions League, I have missed you. Really, it's been far too long since Liverpool got ignominiously knocked out of a cup competition. And with Barcelona coming up on Wednesday, I can't really see this going any other way, honestly. I know Barca have had some dressing room turmoil recently, but nothing on the level of attacking your teammate with a golf club, I don't think. Seriously, boys? Now is not the time. (Not that there's ever really a time to attack your teammate with a golf club, I suppose.) I'd like to discount this, but the club's not denying it, so I'm inclined to think it's true. Which, what the hell? I can think of very few things worth attempting to break a person's legs, and "refusal to perform karaoke" sure as hell isn't on the list.

Anyway. The Champions League returns this week with the round of 16, and for some reason, I feel the need to predict the winners. Mostly because it's distracting me from my ridiculous amounts of reading. So, without further ado:

Tuesday's games

• Celtic-Milan: Say whatever you want about Milan having a bad year (and it's probably true). Celtic can't win away in Europe, and they've had some trouble scoring at home against quality opposition. UEFA.com is saying Inzaghi is out for Milan, but I don't see that making much of a difference, honestly. Celtic's been lucky to get this far, and I think this is where their lack of experience will show. Milan.


• PSV-Arsenal: This one's hard to call for me. PSV aren't anywhere as solid as they've been in the past; Liverpool drew them away and beat them pretty handily at home, and I think in the past they would have struggled there. PSV have been struggling a bit since Hiddink left, but my god, Arsenal have been incredibly inconsistent all season, and unable to score when they really need to. That CSKA game comes to mind, as does the FA Cup match against Rovers this weekend. I think they'll be able to pull it out, though, especially since they actually care about this competition. Arsenal.


• Lille-Manchester United: Man, I never want to hear Man U fans complain about a difficult draw again. Lille are improving, but Man U is worlds better than they were when they finished fourth in their group last year. As much as I'd like to call this as an upset, I just can't. Man U.


• Real Madrid-Bayern Munich: Hm, this is two traditional powerhouses, both in all kinds of trouble this season. Well, where all kinds of trouble is defined as still being in the top four in their domestic leagues. But they're both having managerial issues, with Capello not being the cure-all Real had hoped, and Munich firing their manager. Considering Bayern topped a more difficult group, and Real got swept by Lyon, I'm going with Bayern.

Wednesday's games

• Roma-Lyon: Um, two teams from leagues I don't really follow. Lyon have been good in the Champions League the past few years, but they've struggled in their domestic league recently (though they're still about 500 points clear of everyone else). This is Roma's first trip to the Round of 16 in a few years, but they've been a lot stronger domestically in the past few weeks than Lyon have. I have no idea how to call this one, so I'm going with who has the better uniforms. Since there's no brown in theirs, that means Lyon.


• Barcelona-Liverpool: Liverpool's coming off a disappointing loss to Newcastle, an extremely distant third in the Premiership, and they're apparently choosing to spend training beating each other up over karaoke. Barcelona are having a little bit of difficulty over Eto'o's return and Ronaldinho's morale, but most of that seems to be resolved now. Oh, and also they're top of La Liga and looking to defend their double. As much as I'd love to believe Liverpool will win this, I just can't. Sorry, boys. Barca.


• Porto-Chelsea: Meh. This is another one I'd like to call as an upset, but as great as that would be, I don't think it'll happen. Porto way overpeformed when they won in 2004, and their squad has been really weakened since then. Oh, and also, Mourinho's now at Chelsea, as y'all may have heard. Chelsea's having an off-season for them, and their two big buys haven't really paid off. But you don't really need Shevchenko to be firing on all cylinders when Drogba's scoring enough for two strikers, which he has been recently. This is an easy call, as much as I hate it. Chelsea.


• Inter-Valencia: Inter's running all over (a weakened) Serie A. Valencia's struggling in La Liga. Inter's got a gigantic squad, with a lot of quality acquired by picking over Juve's team. Valencia has some good players, but they're in a bit of difficulty recently, too. While this could be tough, I'm saying Inter.

You may notice that I didn't mention the FA Cup. This is because I am pretending it doesn't exist. Unless Reading manage to beat Man U, in which case I will be cheering for them all the way.

Embittered Liverpool fans anonymous

Seriously, Dudek? Why? (And we're doing it again on Tuesday? Because that worked so well last time?) I'm all for giving the B team a run-out, but come on. Not when you're playing Arsenal, and especially not when this is both teams' best shot at a trophy of any kind this season. Gah.

Yes, I know it's unfair to blame Dudek for everything -- the defense was horrible, especially on the second Rosicky goal. I'm just tired of this. We have all the talent in the world (well, not all of it, but enough). Liverpool won the Champions League in 2005 and the FA Cup last year with a much thinner squad. There's no reason they should be struggling as much as they are, but it seems like they're back to the defensive mistakes that characterized the early part of this season. Those weren't a lot of fun when we were playing, like, West Ham. When we've got Barcelona coming up in the next month -- god. Please figure it out again. I know y'all don't want to be out of all the cup competitions by February, and I really don't want to deal with my Arsenal-loving friends gloating again. Some more.

However, there were a couple of good things that came from this match. First, hopefully now they'll know better what to do against Arsenal tomorrow (here's a hint -- MARK ROSICKY). Second, there are some hilariously bitter photo captions over at Propaganda. Footie Girl's already covered this a bit, but there's more than enough bitterness to go around. My personal favorites: 1) wannabe Liverpool player Henry, 2) Eboue the diver, and 3) the incompetence of the ref. Not the most mature thing, yeah, but I guess you have to make your own fun after a loss like that.

The best thing out of this match, though, is this:



Best fans in England.

Postponed due to fog.

Yeah, yeah, I know playing in fog is dangerous and all. But really, it doesn't look all that foggy, and you can clearly see from one side of the pitch to the other. Just crank up the lights a bit and it's all good. And it seems like both teams wanted to play, too. Bah. I can't entertain myself all break, guys. (But if they play in snow, which they do, I don't get how fog is more dangerous, really. Silly refs.)

In the tie that actually happened, Charlton went down against Wycombe Wanderers, currently in League Two. I don't have anything against Charlton, really, but man, I love the Cinderella stories. I just finished The Far Corner last weekend, too. It's sort of a cross between sports writing and travel writing -- the author goes around the Northeast of England attending soccer matches. It's hilarious, and he goes to several Wycombe matches, so now I know a very little about them (but more than I did before). Anyway. As long as they don't get drawn against Liverpool in the next round, go Wycombe! (And if anyone is looking for a good holiday read, The Far Corner is it. Really good, and probably one of the best soccer books I've read. Better than How Soccer Explains the World, at least.)

Carra scores?

Oh, Jamie Carragher. The last time you scored, I was in high school. This is kinda like seeing a UFO, but infinitely more fun. Also, while that goal celebration isn't the most creative I've ever seen, I do love how the entire team gets involved in it. I guess you have to figure that's probably a once-in-a-career chance.



So, yeah, 4-0. I'd have liked to see some better play in the first half, but it feels silly to complain about a result like that. Our defense seems to have mostly sorted itself out, though I'd like to see it against a team that creates more than Fulham did. Still, we're finally in the Champions League spots, so I'll quit complaining for a while.

Unlike both Arsenal and Chelsea, after their draw (see what I did with that segue?). If you want serious analysis of this game, I suggest going elsewhere, because honestly I don't much care for either of the team. However, the petty little dramas that emerge from all these games? Hilarious. Nothing can top the Christmas card debacle of last season, but we have Ashley Cole attempting to make nice with Cesc Fabregas and Jens Lehmann complaining that Frank Lampard said mean things to him. Seriously? Cole said some pretty nasty things about Fabregas, so I can understand not wanting to pretend like everything's okay. But insulting each other seems to be part of the game; not that it should be, necessarily, but it is. Lehmann might be justified in his complaints, but I don't really think anyone's going to take him seriously. Unless he starts headbutting people when they offend him. Which I would support, purely for the comedic value.

And finally today, West Ham fired Alan Pardew. This makes me sadder than it probably should, but I always kinda liked Pardew. He seems like a good guy, and it's a little unfair to tell him his job's safe and then fire him a week later, I think. I wonder what would have happened if he'd not bought Tevez and Mascherano back in August -- that seems to have been the tipping point. Anyway, I liked him, and here's hoping he'll make it back to the Premiership soon.