Shallow and frivolous

18-year-old footballer breaks news of transfer on Facebook. Honestly, I'm a little surprised this hasn't happened before. (Though I think Alecko Eskandarian may have announced his transfer to, like, Real Salt Lake on Facebook. But that was at least one trade ago, and it's MLS.)

Speaking of Real Salt Lake, I present the first in an occasional series, called Hot MLS Coaches.

Part One: Jason Kreis

So, he whines about the refs a little more than I'd like. And he's shorter than me. But this is his first full season, RSL are amazingly not sucking this season, and he went to Duke, so I think the balancing test comes out in his favor. Also, he can wear a suit pretty damn well.

In which I say something nice about USsoccer.com

New away kit? Thumbs up. When I first saw this, I thought it was navy blue, but it looks like it's actually black, which is just fine with me. I'm not the hugest fan of the random red collar thing, but I can live with it. And really, anything is better than the new home kit. It's kind of nice to see them getting away from red, white, and blue; while I understand it's patriotic and I'm sure everyone there loves America, limiting yourself to three colors isn't generally a good idea. Though I just realized -- what will this mean the keeper kit looks like? Since those tend to be really different from the regular jerseys, I fear poor Tim Howard and Brad Guzan will have to wear neon yellow or something. But overall, I approve. Which I'm sure is just what Nike was going for.

Too sexy for this shirt

But that's not hard, because this shirt is FUG.

I've defended the fashion choices of the USMNT in the past, but this thing? No. No no no. Every girl knows that horizontal stripes are almost uniformly an awful idea. While I'm all for pinstripes, these are not pinstripes. This is a collar-less version of the rugby shirts my brother used to wear. When he was five. Put a collar on it, and this is the shirt every guy in every bar in town wears when he can't commit to an actual button-down. In other words, this isn't a jersey. It's a shirt. It's not iconic, it's not distinctive, and it's not even particularly good-looking. I realize they have to change jerseys every few years on order of their Nike overlords, but is there any reason they have to go from a decent jersey to this thing?

Also, the stripes don't even go all the way around the back. If you're going to be ugly, at least be consistently ugly. Apparently that's so you can put a name and number on the back. Uh-huh. Because that's such a problem. This thing is ugly ugly ugly, and I feel sorry for the players that have to wear it.

More discussion at:
Sideline Views
Soccer by Ives
Goalscoring Robot

Is it can be transfer tiem now?

Because nothing is happening in Liverpool's off-season (in that we have not bought anyone at all, really), and all I seem to be able to talk about these days is uniforms and the US national team, today I bring you an article about both.

Now, this really annoyed me more than it should have, and I'm not entirely sure why. I'm, at best, a casual US fan, and even then it's during off-summers when there's nothing else going on. But, come on. Even I know that every team has a third kit. Also, even countries where they have a consistent home shirt -- he uses Argentina and the Netherlands as examples -- change those kits. Not as drastically, but they change. As nice as it would be to have some FA totally immune to the whims of Adidas or Nike, it's not going to happen anytime soon.

This, though, is ridiculous:

[After beating Colombia in the 1994 World Cup] Perhaps betraying a lack of confidence, the Americans changed uniforms for this game—an odd move for a host country.

HI THAT IS CALLED BEING THE AWAY TEAM. Even if you're playing a tournament in your home country, every team has to have an away kit, because you always have a home and an away. This is why Milan had to wear white and Liverpool got to wear red in Athens -- even though neither team was native to Greece, you always have a home and an away. If the US was "away" for that game, they were away. It's not a crisis of faith to change shirts when you're required to.

Also, I refuse to take anyone seriously who advocates for this kit. Leaving aside the blue shorts with stars, really? Red and white hoops? They'd look like candy canes. Or candy stripers. Neither of those are really likely to inspire confidence, I don't think. (Also, he seems to have this thing for fans wearing the team's jerseys. Imagine the average American sports fan in horizontal stripes. Yeah, that's totally a good idea!) Or this one. They all look like they're regional finalists in the Miss Teen USMNT pageant with that sash thing. And, seriously. You've got to know Michael Bradley's got that title sewn up, since he is, in fact, a teenager (though Donovan could make a late run for it, since he's a girl). Anyway. Those are both, while not absolutely horrendous, certainly not the best kits in the world, and the first one is more than likely going to get anyone laughed off the pitch.

And I actually really like the current kits. The stripe is simple, but the colors are strong, and I really like how the stripe carries down the shorts and the socks as well. It's not iconic like the Netherlands kit, but it doesn't really have to be. American soccer has really only been around in its current form for about 20 years. Give them time and they'll work something out.

God, Liverpool, will you hurry up and sign someone already? My posts can't get much more frivolous than this.

They can has away kits.

Chelsea's new away kit has been leaked.

See, all you Liverpool fans complaining about their new kit? It could be worse. It could have all those weird little squiggles, and be neon yellow. (Though it will be useful if Chelsea's team-bonding activity this season is deer hunting.) I guess this is the advantage to not being owned by Abramovich -- I doubt Hicks or Gillett care what colors Barcelona wear.

Of course, the disadvantage is that Chelsea steal all your transfer targets. Damn Alves.

In other news, You'll Never Blog Alone has been named Who Ate All the Pies' blog of the week. I'm incredibly flattered, so thanks!

I can has away kits

So, I know these have been leaked for a while, but Liverpool officially launched their new away kit today. I've seen a lot of complaining about it, and I have to say, I don't get it. The red things on the top don't really bother me -- and really, has everyone already forgotten we're coming off of a season in which this monstrosity was the away kit? White isn't the most exciting color, I guess, but I'm a traditionalist when it comes to these sort of things, and yellow/orange/whatever flatters no one. My soccer team had orange jerseys this spring, and I absolutely hated them. (When you have red hair, wearing orange makes you look like a pumpkin. It's true.) So white, even with some little red squiggles, is fine with me. And I almost always approve of black shorts.

However. In that link to the order page, you know why Pepe's out of focus? Because that keeper kit is among the fugliest things I have ever seen. It's running this beauty a close second as the ugliest keeper kit ever, I think. Like, I understand that Adidas' new thing seems to be throwing red onto random places on the kits. But the stripes on the sleeves don't have to be red. Really. And if you feel compelled to insert those weird little white half-sleeves so you're not putting red on green, maybe that should be your tip-off that the stripes shouldn't be red. With all-green sleeves and white stripes, this would probably have been okay. But as it is, I agree with Footie Girl that this makes him look like "one of Santa's elves." Ugh. And with white shorts? Ew.

In other news, Tevez to Liverpool? Yes please.