Quick hits

• This is the greatest post ever. Kickette and Go Fug Yourself combine for commentary on WAGs. Brilliant and hilarious.


• An interview with Galaxy defender Julian Valentin. I liked him at the u20 World Cup this summer, and even though he went to the wrong ACC school, I've got to respect anyone who takes a boot to the face, gets stitches, and then gets upset that he can't return to finish out the game. And he seems like a good guy, too.


• And the reason I don't do game previews? Oh You Beauty does them so much better.

What I've been reading

A few blogs I've been meaning to link, but haven't. Because I'm lame. But I really enjoy making lists in HTML, so here we go.

1. First of all, a newish women's soccer blog, Kickster. British, and seems to be in the Who Ate All the Pies family of blogs. Georgina Turner, who I've missed a lot at The Guardian, is writing there, and so far I really like it. It's one of my perennial resolutions to pay more attention to women's soccer, so I'm definitely going to be reading this one.


2. Another new blog, Dying Midseason, from a friend of mine. Liverpool-focused, but also has some American football and Argentina and Spain, too. I have to say, I don't care about the NFL, but this is good stuff.


3. I already linked the US Women's blog this morning, but I would be remiss if I didn't link the US Men's blog as well. They're both mostly active when the teams are in camp (obviously), but they're pretty great then. I'm always in favor of team blogs, and the USMNT one is particularly cute. It's kind of refreshing to read about a national team where the recreation is Playstation and marathon keep-up, not, you know. Partying with hookers.

Friday linkpost

• Liverpool/Chelsea this weekend. While this almost always means a lackluster game, it always means managerial sniping. Which was fun a few years ago, but guys, seriously. Just kiss already. You know you want to. That said, though, "Abramovich has done a really good job"? BURN.


• England squad named for Germany friendly. Calling up injured players because you don't want to try new things? It's like 2006 all over again! And seriously, did Scott Parker run over someone's puppy?


• Speaking of stories we've been seeing for years, Michael Owen is almost fit again. Until he actually plays a game, that is. He used to be one of my favorites, but man. It's been a long time.


• David Beckham scored, and no one was there. Except 17,000 for a midweek game, especially a non-league one, isn't that bad. Especially when no one thought he was going to play, let alone start, let alone score. Ooops. I know the backlash has begun in earnest, but is anyone pretending that most fans 1) know or 2) care what the Superliga is? Because, no.


• And finally today, another American goes to a doomed Premiership team. I like Benny Feilhaber -- yeah, that's not a secret -- but I still don't think Derby has a chance. Maybe he can commiserate with the three Americans at Fulham.

Friday linkpost

• Liverpool win their fourth preseason friendly. Interesting, though, that (I believe) Torres hasn't scored yet. Hopefully this is just him taking a little bit of time to warm up.


• Dudek's really going to Real. I have to say, I don't understand this deal at all. I know he was basically the Cup keeper last season, but he didn't really do well when he did get to play. Whatever; he's finally gone. He burned through his Istanbul credit really fast for me, and I think he should have probably gone in January 2006.


• Totti retires from international play. I don't know how much they'll miss him -- he's always been a better club player than international, but I do like him.


• And two stories I am sick of: Beckham not likely to play against Chelsea tomorrow, and no one knows who controls Carlos Tevez's contract. Ugh. I feel like we've been hearing about these since last year. Over it.


• And finally today, this is perhaps the most clueless marketing I've ever seen. Soccer is hard! Boys are cute! Um, which US team has won the World Cup again? (Thanks to Jen for the link.)

Friday linkpost

• Sid Lowe (in Spain) looks at Torres' move to Liverpool. I've pretty clearly missed the boat on commenting on this transfer, but I'll just say I'm refraining from judgment until the season starts, at least. It's nice to see us get a more traditional striker, and I've liked him internationally, so I'm optimistic.


• Speaking of transfers, Cisse's going to Marseille for good. It's about damn time, I say. I didn't like him when he was here, and I don't think we missed him when he was out on loan last season. Maybe he'll do better in France, but meh. Mostly I'm just glad we're clearing out some dead weight.


• And he's taking Zenden with him. Thank god. That's really all I've got on this one.


• Finally, my last word on the US at Copa America. I agree with a lot of this post, but honestly. The US's performance was pretty much a disaster. Not one they could have done a lot to prevent, but three-and-out shouldn't be something they're okay with.

Friday linkpost

• Steven Wells defends American soccer. And in the Guardian, no less! I would like to co-sign everything he said. (And, really, isn't it long past time everyone got over the word "soccer"? I'm officially sick of that discussion.)


• The Stevens Report finally comes out. Wait, Bolton's dirty? I am shocked.


• Daniel Agger wins goal of the season for Liverpool. Apparently the fans are immune to shots from inside our own half now. Too bad for Xabi.


• Soccernet evaluates the US team as they head into the Gold Cup quarters. I didn't know Bradley had played everyone on the roster. It'll be interesting to see who gets to start tomorrow, with that in mind.


• And finally, Steven Gerrard, Gary Neville, and Michael Carrick all get married tomorrow. Not to each other. Though that would probably be more interesting. If they don't have thrones at the reception, I just can't quite bring myself to care too deeply.

Podcast pimping

A short conversation with Being Sven earlier this week reminded me that I've been meaning to post about soccer podcasts for a while now. Even though it's almost the end of the season, there's no time like the present. I listen to three sports podcasts on a regular basis -- I used to listen to World Soccer Daily, but it was just too much. I'm sure there's more out there that I should be listening to, and I'll have an hour drive time to my summer job, so if there's something that I have to start downloading, let me know in comments.

1. Football Weekly, from the Guardian (and the team who brings you the Fiver). This started out as the World Cup Daily podcast and then evolved into its current format. There's a rotating cast of commentators anchored by James Richardson, and honestly, this is the only one of these podcasts I want to go on longer. It focuses mostly on England, with James Richardson covering Italy and Sid Lowe (the best thing about this podcast) covering Spain. (And occasional dips into France, Germany, and South America.) If you like the Fiver, which everyone should, then this is basically the Fiver in audio format. This is my favorite of the podcasts. Highly recommended, and I'm sad they're going off the air for summer break.


2. ESPN Soccernet Extra. This one's more straight news than Football Weekly, and three times a week. It's also Premiership-focused, but a bit more wide-ranging in its coverage of other leagues; they've covered the Dutch and Australian leagues, and even MLS. I didn't love this one at first, but now the commentators are showing a bit more personality and getting used to the format, it seems. Quality stuff, and hopefully they'll continue to improve.


3. BBC Sportsweek. This one is the most hit-or-miss; since it's all sports, sometimes that means five minutes of soccer and forty-five of cricket or swimming or something else. However, the strength of this podcast is that they can get the big names to come on, and they don't hold back in interviewing them. It's pretty awesome to hear (for example) the new owner of West Ham called out. If this were entirely a soccer podcast, it would be incredible.

So, what else should I be listening to?

Linkpost due to finals

So, I got called out, and the last thing I want to do is disappoint my loyal, um, fan, so here we are. (In my defense, it's finals season here, and I've got my Ethics final tomorrow -- on my birthday! -- so I've been a little bit distracted.)

Here, a few things that have caught my eye:

• Four teams clinched their league titles this weekend. Yeah, but only one of those is a real league. I've never really understood people who try to claim that Holland or France (or hell, Scotland) are on the level of the traditional Big Four Leagues. They're not, and it makes you look goofy trying to claim they are.


• The draw for the Women's World Cup was announced. Unlike the men, the US women got a real Group of Death. I'll probably end up watching at least some of this -- once the Champions League ends, I don't have anything else to follow. Also, I've willingly watched MLS games, so this can only be a step up.


• First woman commentator on Match of the Day; sky fails to fall. I'd like to say that I don't see why this is a big deal, but it probably would be here, too. We'd just not be as open about it. Much like the Mike Newell thing.


• Effing Ronaldo won all the awards ever. Actually, I think this is deserved; he really came into his own this season, as annoying as it was. I just can't stand him and his smug little face. I realize that this is because I am a bitter Liverpool and England fan, but it doesn't change a damn thing. Ew.


• Oh, and also Liverpool secured a Champions League slot for next season. Well-done, boys. Now go beat Chelsea tomorrow and get to the final, and we'll forget all about what happened in the FA and Carling Cups. Deal?

Draws, celery, and girl-on-girl action.

Sorry, everyone. It's hard to pay much attention to this blog when Liverpool haven't played in a week and a half. Stupid FA Cup (and yes, that is my bitterness talking). I'm still planning to talk about the remaining Champions League round of 16 matches, but not right now. Instead, a couple of articles I've been meaning to talk about, while I watch my NCAA tournament bracket collapse even further. (Also, if I never hear about Hansbrough's facemask again, it will be too soon.)

• Getting rid of draws = bad idea. However, I don't know why the Guardian felt the need to throw in this little nugget:
  

  Just because the Americans can't get their heads round a non-result doesn't mean the rest of the world should fall in line. We should be proud of our superior tradition, just as we in Europe are proud of our wine, our cheese and our beer. Ever tasted any American cheese?

  I mean, I'm with him as far as the cheese and beer. But I know a lot of American soccer fans, and honestly? I think we've got more of a problem with diving than with draws. So maybe you want to work on that first, guys. The article doesn't talk about Americans besides that, and it doesn't seem like the no-draws idea in the League came from an American. In fact, Mr. Wilson, MLS has draws, and we seem to be just fine with that (to the extent we watch MLS). So in conclusion? Whatever.
  


• Chelsea sets up "celery hotline." Because Chelsea fans like to throw celery at the opposing team, it seems. I know this is a problem and all, but . . . it's celery. No matter what club you're talking about, this sentence will always be hilarious:

  The statement went on to direct fans to a hotline they could call to report others seen carrying celery, promising that "all calls will be treated in confidence".

  Just. It's celery. Rogue fans carrying celery into stadia is, I believe, inherently funny.
  


• And finally tonight, I think I prefer the England women's team to the men. I'd totally forgotten that it's a Women's World Cup year, probably because as little as they cover soccer over here, they cover women's soccer even less. I don't think I realized how ghettoized the sport is in Europe, though, till I read this article. You never hear about male footballers having to work another job to pay their bills, but even the women playing at the highest level have to have a day job. I can't imagine -- I can barely handle school on its own. This is what sealed my liking for them, though:

  Aluko, Asante and the 18-year-old Arsenal striker Lianne Sanderson sit watching a replay of a men's game, Arsenal v Manchester United, on TV. Hot topics for debate include Arsene Wenger's passing game; who they would rather go out with, Ronaldo or Wayne Rooney; and whether either of them is gay.

  I swear I've had that exact conversation. Several times.

Links of the week

It's kind of quiet this week in Liverpool news -- I guess that's what happens when you're out of both domestic cups and don't have another league match till Tuesday. Not that I'm bitter. So ahead of the trip to West Ham, some totally non-Liverpool news.

1. Zidane to MLS? Not so much. I'm not surprised that he said no, I'm surprised that they had the balls to ask. He's barely been retired for six months, and also? It's Chicago. Nothing against the town, but it's not exactly LA. In that it's cold. If you're going to end your career by whoring yourself out to a lower-tier league, it seems like you'd want to go someplace warm. Like Dubai. Or LA.


2. Speaking of whoring yourself out to lower-tier leagues, what does Beckham's arrival mean for MLS the brand? I know everyone's sick to death of this deal, but I thought this was an interesting take on it from a marketing and brand-growth perspective. Though if most of the article is about how Beckham is going to make the league more attractive, I really question the use of that picture.


3. Dear footballers, what did I say about sex tapes? Also, what's with everyone wearing their shirts while having three-ways these days? Because, I have to say: not hot.


4. The politics of pink and sports. Okay, this one isn't even in the same sport, but bear with me. The pink thing is, I think, symbolic of the whole female-fan problem. I've definitely had people question my fan credentials, even give me quizzes about it. (Yes, dude, I know what position Beckham plays. I also know who England should play in midfield and the last five winners of the Champions League. Anything else?) The assumption seems to be that if women like sports, they're either only interested in the cute boys or they're faking interest to make their boyfriends or husbands happy. Yeah, sorry, no. I don't know why people feel justified in jumping to that conclusion based on the color of someone's jersey. If the choices are wearing a pink jersey that fits or wearing a men's jersey that doesn't, I know a lot of women are going to pick the first option. And it doesn't make them any less able to understand the offside rule. Especially in soccer, and especially in America, there's about a generation of women who have grown up playing and watching and loving the game on its own terms, not as a way to make boys like you or whatever the easy assumption is. So if you're going to call me "a pink" and talk down to me about this sport I've loved for years, save yourself the trouble and fuck off.

A return to the shallow end

Or the sleazy end, as it may be. I've been in the depths of finals and papers since before Thanksgiving, which is my not-that-great excuse for radio silence. Since I've been gone:

• Liverpool topped their Champions League with a game to spare. Thank god, since they proceeded to lose to Galatasaray in the last game, despite Fowler's double. At least they're through now, though I'll miss not hearing the Champions League theme song until February.


• First away win of the season, baby. I still think the yellow kits are cursed somehow -- note that they were wearing red this time. I'm a bit amazed that they're fifth in the league, but if they keep playing like this, maybe fourth will happen. (On another note, when the commentators are openly acknowledging that you have to play in central midfield or else you'll pout? You are not being a good captain, but just another mediocre diva. Time to step up, Steven.)


• Liverpool got maybe, possibly, hypothetically bought by Dubai. Xabi Alonso is skeptical, and I am too, a little. More on this later, when and if the deal goes through.


• Shevchenko is leaving Chelsea. Or maybe not. They don't really need him now Drogba's figured out how to stay on his feet, and Milan never found an effective replacement. Also, Sheva looks like he hasn't slept a night since he left Milan. Homesickness? Or is he a vampire? It's unclear.
  

All good stories, and all worth talking about. However, the topic of discussion today? Sex tapes. Specifically, this. DEAR FOOTBALLERS: STOP MAKING SEX TAPES. They will get out, you will be embarrassed, and if you're at Sunderland, Roy Keane will probably give you a hairdryer treatment so extensive even Sir Alex would be impressed. It's only a matter of time before that video shows up on Youtube or some blog, and yeah. The chants will be legendary, I feel. Especially for the guy "performing a sexual act" while still wearing his sweater. I just . . . what? I don't have anything else to say that hasn't been said better by the Fiver. Except. DEAR FOOTBALLERS. STOP MAKING SEX TAPES. Or you'll still be talking about it five years later, and making this humble blogger vaguely ill. Yeah, I definitely meant the sleazy end of the pool, and that's without even linking the Stefan Postma video. Sorry.

Linkspam of the day

How would you do as a WAG? As myself, turns out I'm non-league -- no tan, jeans, and yeah. The best I could hope for is, like, Stan Collymore. And who wants that?

Steven Gerrard: jaded free spirit? I don't think he's only effective in central midfield. Considering he was on the right a lot of the time last season, that can't be the problem with Liverpool's form this time around. However, Momo's out for a good long while now. If it'd get him to stop pouting for a while, why not try center?

I don't really care whether you think it's realistic or not, boys. Just try to win? Also, Riise, just mark your man. Seriously.