08 October 2006

Sven hate and Carra the psychic

Materazzi has written a book about "what he might have said to prompt Zinedine Zidane to head butt him." The article only quotes a couple of the 249 (?!) responses. But, dude, if he had actually said "Since Foucault died, French philosophy has sucked," that would clearly have been the most awesome insult not only in the history of soccer, but in the history of the entire world. I might be giving Materazzi a bit too much credit, but come on. Soccer players talking philosophy? That's almost as funny as "Jamie Carragher, penalty specialist," SVEN.

And that leads nicely into my next topic, which is "England: the hell?" It's strange, because they didn't play all that badly, really, but they just could not get anything going up front. No matter what Rio or John Terry says, Wayne Rooney is completely in a slump at the moment, and Crouch hasn't been getting the games at Liverpool to be as sharp as they needed him to be, I think. Lampard still sucks (no surprise), and I totally think that Steven's hair (as seen here) has cursed him. He can't score, he keeps running inside instead of staying on the wing, and he gets questionable yellows that keep him out of crucial games. AWESOME. They just weren't gelling for some reason -- are we back to the old midfield issues? -- and that's bad news with Croatia on Wednesday. (Also note in that link: Jamie Carragher can kill you with his brain. And he will, too.)

I'm not even going to talk about Spain, really. Just, I know they're a team of choke artists, but don't you have to get to Euro 2008 before you can choke there? They're fifth in their group now, I think, but I guess that's what happens when you make Cesc Fabregas your midfield general -- I love him to pieces, but he's 19! -- and start three players I've never even heard of. It's not like they were playing San Marino; this was a need-to-win match. I don't get it. And I don't get the vote of confidence in Aragones, either. Meh.

Dear US Soccer: yes. A thousand times yes. Anything's better than Arena or Sven.


Jones said...


Apparently Materazzi's book is some sort of comedy thing for charity. And I have to say, as much as I have something of a soft spot for Materazzi, the very idea that he knows who Foucault is definitely counts as comedy.

Spain. Hahaha. WTH is going on there anyway?

ynba said...

1. I'm not sure that the US is competent enough to be the Dark Side. Wouldn't that be, like, Argentina or some other love-to-hate team? The US is more like the Ewoks, I think.

2. Hee, true. I forgot that his defense when people said he called Zidane a terrorist was that he didn't know what a terrorist was. Smart kid.

3. I don't know. But I can't ogle them at Euro 2008 if they continue to suck like that. *sadface*

sarah said...

Maybe not smart, but definitely hot. Which is really shallow. But at this point, the fact that some of them are hot is the only thing the Italian team is good for.

Anonymous said...