In other news, water is wet

Derby relegated.

Honestly, I'm a little surprised that it took this long. I guess they still have something to fight for -- beating Sunderland's points total from 2003 in order to not be actually the worst team ever to play in the Premier League. They'd need 20 points to do that. They currently have 11. Good luck, boys. It's pretty clear you'll need it.

In which I say something nice about USsoccer.com

New away kit? Thumbs up. When I first saw this, I thought it was navy blue, but it looks like it's actually black, which is just fine with me. I'm not the hugest fan of the random red collar thing, but I can live with it. And really, anything is better than the new home kit. It's kind of nice to see them getting away from red, white, and blue; while I understand it's patriotic and I'm sure everyone there loves America, limiting yourself to three colors isn't generally a good idea. Though I just realized -- what will this mean the keeper kit looks like? Since those tend to be really different from the regular jerseys, I fear poor Tim Howard and Brad Guzan will have to wear neon yellow or something. But overall, I approve. Which I'm sure is just what Nike was going for.

LOL

The YNT blog hates me. Dudes, not my fault you got scooped on the final Olympic qualifying roster.

Question of the day

So, say you were one of the U23 players who decided to get pedicures today. Yes, that's the U23 men. Put yourself in those guys' shoes. (The blog doesn't name names, but my guess? Sacha Kljestan.)

Here's my question: you're most likely an MLS player, which means you're probably about to start the preseason. Why, then, would you decide to get your feet all smooth and pretty when you'll be playing soccer five days a week and they're just going to get all callused and blistered and gross again?

Seriously, I speak from experience. It's a bad idea.

(If you're here from the Fanhouse, hi! This is pretty much what it's like all the time around here.)

Too sexy for this shirt

But that's not hard, because this shirt is FUG.

I've defended the fashion choices of the USMNT in the past, but this thing? No. No no no. Every girl knows that horizontal stripes are almost uniformly an awful idea. While I'm all for pinstripes, these are not pinstripes. This is a collar-less version of the rugby shirts my brother used to wear. When he was five. Put a collar on it, and this is the shirt every guy in every bar in town wears when he can't commit to an actual button-down. In other words, this isn't a jersey. It's a shirt. It's not iconic, it's not distinctive, and it's not even particularly good-looking. I realize they have to change jerseys every few years on order of their Nike overlords, but is there any reason they have to go from a decent jersey to this thing?

Also, the stripes don't even go all the way around the back. If you're going to be ugly, at least be consistently ugly. Apparently that's so you can put a name and number on the back. Uh-huh. Because that's such a problem. This thing is ugly ugly ugly, and I feel sorry for the players that have to wear it.

More discussion at:
Sideline Views
Soccer by Ives
Goalscoring Robot

True confessions

I know I should care about the African Cup of Nations, but I don't.

Still alive.

What she said.

I'm sorry for the silence over here, but with how Liverpool's playing and all the behind-the-scenes drama has been too depressing to write about. I fully expect whatever bizarre and fully-rotated squad Rafa puts out to lose to Havant & Waterlooville. Because that'd really be this season in a nutshell, wouldn't it?

So on a lighter note, pictures of the Liverpool costume Christmas party. My favorite is Fernando Torres as ... Fernando Torres.

This blog is 50% effective

I'm pretty sure he's talking about Liverpool for the stats-obsessed "big team." And yeah. What he said. I don't know a whole lot about baseball (except drinking in the stands is fun), but it seems like positions are a lot more defined there than they are in soccer -- you have strikers making saves and defenders taking shots pretty much all the time in soccer, and I don't think you have shortstops playing right field in baseball. So I'm doubtful about how much the stats really say about a game; doesn't everyone know by now that possession statistics are meaningless? And the team with more shots doesn't always win (As Nate pointed out). So. I'm skeptical. Especially if stats mean Liverpool doesn't start Torres every game. Because, honestly.

...In Spain!

I love Sid Lowe. That's really all I've got today. We're not talking about the Carling Cup. Or the Premiership.

Most pointless blog post ever, I know.

Ugh.

I knew I spoke too soon about England being competent.

England in actually-competent shocker

...I shouldn't jump the gun on declaring them competent, I guess, if past history is anything to go by. (Scolari and Hiddink, anyone?) But at least they seem to be looking at real candidates this time. I'm kind of surprised at myself, but I tend to think Mourinho's a good choice. I loathed him at Chelsea, but I think he might be good for England. If that team needs anything right now, it's someone who won't be overawed by the glamor of all the famous people on the team. Considering Mourinho apparently bought Shevchenko just to not play him and prove they could win anyway, I think he fits. Klinsmann, Capello, and Lippi would also be interesting -- I know Klinsmann speaks English, but I don't know about the other two. Mostly, though, I'm relieved to see that the FA isn't looking under every rock and bush trying to find an English coach who can do it. If McClaren taught them anything, it should have been that midlevel Premiership coaches aren't really up to the job. Even if they are English.

In other news, I'm more than a little ashamed to admit this, but I kind of love BobbyBoswell.com. Though someone needs to tutor Marc Burch on run-on sentences and the difference between its and it's. Just saying.

Final-in-three-hours news

Liverpool's game against Besiktas may have been fixed. (Though not by Liverpool, it seems.)

Um, wow. I mean, odds are that whatever investigation is done won't be finished before the Champions League ends this season -- assuming Liverpool can make it to the knockout stages anyway. ("Odds are" was probably a bad choice of words there, huh?) I know this is all pretty idle speculation at this point, but ... wow.

I do have to wonder, though, how you fix an 8-0. Like, that's not just one win, that's enough goals for several wins. Wouldn't fixing a 3-0 or something be easier? You'd avoid the costs of kneecapping your defenders, anyway.

Redknapp sketchy -- who knew?

I guess this takes him out of the running for England. Though I guess you can't really transfer players on a national team, so maybe he was never in the running to begin with.

As Footie Girl said: "Next week: The exclusive revelation that Jose Mourinho is a bit conceited!"

(And yes, presumption of innocence and all that. I'm just saying.)

Question of the day

So, I'm new to the whole MLS thing, in that I only started watching games over the summer. And now it's the off-season, and players are moving all over (DC to San Jose to Columbus, for one), and I am so confused. Anyone want to explain the MLS transfer market to me? In small words?

Waiting-too-long-to-post news

Between travel and Thanksgiving, my post about England, Russia, Israel, and Croatia is pretty much entirely moot now. England only needed a draw against Croatia (who had already qualified) at home to make it to Euro 2008. They couldn't do it, McClaren got fired, and now no one wants the job.

I have to say, I'm not surprised by any of this. England lucked out that Israel won on Saturday to keep them alive this long. They lost to too many teams (and too many bad teams) along the way for me to say they deserved to qualify. At some point, being a big name doesn't get you anywhere, and they reached that point. McClaren didn't have any ideas that Sven didn't have earlier -- by the end, they were still trying to play Gerrard, Lampard, and Beckham all in the same midfield. Like, weren't they trying this before? And didn't it fail horribly then? They're just out of ideas, and chose to bring someone in who would just do more of the same. I don't know how anyone's surprised that they didn't qualify. (And yeah, injuries and all that. Wouldn't have made a difference if they'd done what they needed to earlier.)

And I really can't blame anyone for not wanting the England job, either. The media and the public think you've got a better squad than you do (Paul Robinson, starting keeper. Honestly.), you'll be blamed for absolutely everything, and anything less than winning the World Cup is a failure. I understand having high standards and all, but really, shouldn't the team be able to qualify consistently (and well) before they worry about winning anything? O'Neill's apparently ruled himself out, and I wasn't horribly thrilled with the idea of him regardless, so what the hell. Mourinho for England. Most of those players need their egos taken down a step or two, he'd be more interesting at press conferences than McClaren, and they might stand a chance of making it to the World Cup. (Yes, I know, easy qualifying group. Didn't they say that about Euro 2008?) Based on sheer entertainment value, I'm backing Mourinho. Not that the FA listens to me, but at least I make more sense than Brian Barwick.